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Musing: Out of control

I just sit down and write sometimes with nothing to say until something comes up that I begin to say something about and, in doing this, I often find thoughts that are somewhere in my mind that are not yet connected to present consciousness but are obviously there because they make themselves known when touched upon.  I am sitting here and it is one of these moments and the reason that nothing in particular is coming to mind is that there has been so much going on that is bizarre that the bizarre has come to be what is expected.  The president of the United States.  The president of the United States.  I cannot begin to say what comes to mind when I think those words now.  This is an elected leader.  The president of the United States.  And he should be beyond comprehension because he is so absurd.  But he must be understood because he is the president of the United States.  And, yet, there is no kind of logic I can find that can help me explain him to myself.  He, logically, cannot be real because who he is makes on sense.  How he thinks makes no sense.  What he says and does makes no sense.  But he is the president of the United States.  He holds the power of a president of the United States of America.  He is understood around the world to be the president of the United States of America.  This does not make sense, but it is real and that is the problem with my current state of mind, the real not making sense.  If there is not sense in what is real, what can be sensibly understood?  Where are the reference points that ground thought in reality when the reality that is can only make sense in the irrational universe of our current cultural sensibilities?  What does one have to accept of that universe to begin making sense with reference to what is really happening in the world around?

Dizzying is a good word for it, for the present states of mind I am experiencing.  On a particular day, after taking time to watch the squirrels and the bunnies and the birds–maybe I want to think like them for a few moments–I cannot help myself but to get back to thinking and as I do I begin to feel unbalanced, teetering on a narrow plank that is my rationality and bracing myself for the inevitable fall that will come the moment I tune back into the news of the hour, worse, the collected news of what is still early in the day.

Unbalanced, teetering, beyond something into a somewhere that I cannot fathom but must if I am going to be straight with myself, honest with others.  Reality is a dimension of lost perspective, of items bumping against one another but having no real effect because none of the objects for consideration can be real except that they are and when they make contact they cannot absorb anything of the other because there is no way to trust that there is anything meaningful in what any or all have to offer.  Free flowing entities that don’t really collide but, rather, brush against one another if they make contact at all.

Israel!  Bebe!  Left, right, righteous, foul, Korea, Nigeria, Guatemala, Honduras, Stormy, the lawyers, the prosecutors, the judges, the spokesperson, lies, Hannity, Rachael, Comey, Kanye???, Cosby, Star Wars, Super Hero, comics, comedians, NRA, ACLU (anchor), Breitbart, NFL, NBA, herons, warriors, Parkland, Las Vegas, night clubs (Paris, Fla.), Iran, Iraq, Hillary, George, Berkshire Hathaway, bitcoin, Mueller, Netanyahu, Abbas, Hamas…

Parts, a few of the parts, swirling without orbital principle, an indigestible stew, minutae made substantive in a news cycle.  Warriors win, 17 students dead, Iran nuclear deal to be disrupted, negotiations with Kim, Kias from the south, Samsung, Zyppah, Joy Reid, Fox News, MSNBC, the Times, the Post, Intercept, a better dog biscuit, a better grooming tool, concert tickets for three hundred dollars, baseball for five, Collin Kappernic.

Rambling out of control.

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